Bliss, Balance, such a beautiful life!

God is merciful and just, and He has a deliciously twisted sense of humour. ^_^
*sigh-purrrrring*
I really do love my life. I especially love it right now.
For this moment, this day, and as long as the feeling can last, I am blissed-out and absolutely shitproof. Everything in this world and everyone in this world that I love most are right where I want them to be, where I need them to be, and I cannot see a better moment in my life in which to be content, joyous, and grateful. Bad days can happen, yes, but right now I am surrounded by silver lining. May it remain so. :D

All my love to you.
-Estelore

Huh. Breakability.

My skin feels prickly, like there's static racing across it, and I can't stop thinking about you.
It seems like there are little black butterflies everywhere, and did you know that you'll live forever if you break one? Orson Scott Card said that, about breaking butterflies. Maybe he knew something, there.
Butterflies are like hearts, like glass. All these decisions perched on the edge of a knife, so very easy to shatter, and live forever. Oh, mercy, I would not live forever for all the beauty of the world. This sort of beauty has a marvellous terror in it, and I want nothing of it beyond the set time.
Mercy, do I miss you. You're only a morning away, and some hours, and a sleep. You are just a few breaths away from me, and all this ice in my veins is burning away at me, that slow cold patience that takes so much of my focus, but not enough, never enough. I miss you; I love you. My heart is fluttering slow and steady, as even as ocean waves, as bright as black delicate wings, ahhh, sweet beautiful breakable things....

Yammering. Just yammering, and feel like typing it.

Kiss me already I'm bored I wanna' go home for pity's sake I'm tired wait I'm never bored how the feck am I bored? Snap out of it run-on sentences like I give a crap wow I'm actually keeping up to my thoughts with my typing must be thinking really slowly and typing really fastly yes fastly is a word so there.
Breathe in.
Play music not notes I wanna' go home take me home PLEASE and dammit do I miss you or what? I'm tired I need a book I need to catch up to my poke'mon game RAFGone needs updating for mercy's sake three days is all I need man I need to quit humming Les Mis tunes oy vey!
Breathe out.
So much solo such short solos N.O. looks like fun a glaive guisarme would be fun, too, but nobody wants to play with sharp stuff why would they it's dangerous you silly goon especially when it's this particular silly goon.
Breathe in.
Patience focus balance keep it in control jeeze why did they both have to have broken ribs at ONCE?! Keep breathing I know it hurts you'll be fine you always are you'll live you always do. Hang in there, kiddo'.
Breathe out.
Typing so fast don't wear yourself out loon you have to play piano tonight or did you forget I mean seriously, Es, what are you thinking? Oh. Right. That's what you're thinking.
You're stronger than pain and smarter than fear why listen to them when they say different things? Focus on the now you'll be okey control and redirect your energy to a better purpose focus.

Right. We're good.

:)

Just some sorta' incomplete thoughts in no particular order.

I feel like there is ice in my veins,
a fierce, burning cold inside me, white-hot
and screaming to find its way out,
and it's all I can do to contain it,
keep you from burning up with me.

I feel like there are flames, dark, sweet heat,
lingering just behind my eyes,
building in my heart and my hands and my voice,
and they keep reaching for you,
so ready to close around you
and keep you forever.

I feel like there is a vine growing around my feet,
rooting me where I stand,
trapping me here between wishing and acting,
and all I can do is wait,
while the vines climb
and the fire grows
and the ice races again and again
past a heart that loves a little too well.
I have all the time in the world;
I can wait forever for you, if you want that,
all I'm asking is this:
Don't let me burn you.

This world has enough of ashes and dust.